Schedule for PREP in One day (e.g., Saturday) and Two Follow-up Weeknight Evenings

This schedule for PREP is another popular format for delivering the entire 12 hours of the program. This format allows you to complete the program in a two-week period, but it still allows some time for homework (in contrast to a weekend model). It also allows you to get a lot of training in the first full day.

The lecture numbers and coaching sessions letters on the next schedule are tied to those in this manual, which are in a different order than you would present them in the schedule below. This schedule has been utilized a great deal and works well.

PREP One Day and Two Follow-up Weeknight Evenings Homework

Homework From Session One

Summary of homework:

1. Do one fun activity.
2. Practice the Speaker/Listener Technique several times.
3. Begin work on your own to clarify your expectations.

Homework in detail:

1. Have some FUN!

Just Do It!

Your job this week is to choose at least one item on your partner's fun list that you made in session and take responsibility to make it happen before the next session.

Practice the Speaker/Listener Technique three or more times between now and the next session.

10-15 minutes or so at a time is fine. Just get used to the flow of it and comfortable with the structure so it'll be there when you need it.

Don't practice with topics that are heated to a degree that you can't keep on practicing. Getting used to the communication skills is the most important part right now.

If you wish to review the Danger signs or the rules for the Speaker/Listener Technique, they are in the first three chapters of your Fighting for Your Marriage book--chapter 3 is about the Speaker/Listener Technique, and you can review the rules on page 63.

Begin working on the expectations exercise. You will need to complete this for use in the last session. This will likely be one of the most useful parts of the homework you can do. We have heard from many couples over the years how valuable it was to them.

Chapter 7 in FFYM book is all about expectations.

The exercise at the end of chapter 7 will help you identify, evaluate, and share your key expectations together. The instructions there are very clear. They begin on page 159. Your homework is to start the exercise at the end of chapter 7 by completing parts one and two before the last session of PREP. Parts one and two have you write out what you expect in various areas, think about the reasonableness of these expectations, and consider if you have ever made these expectations clear with your partner. Part three is what you will begin during the last session--discussing together what you are coming up with in exploring your expectations.

This takes a lot of time to do well. Please take the time. We introduce this homework now so you can have a good amount of time between now and the final session of PREP to work on that homework.

We will not ask you to begin sharing your answers together until the last session.

Homework From Session Two

Summary of homework:

1. Continue working on expectations.
2. Review the Ground Rules.
3. Practice the Speaker/Listener Technique two times.

Homework in detail:

Keep working on the Expectations exercise at the end of chapter 7 in Fighting for Your Marriage. Begin working at the end of chapter 14 on Core Beliefs, which has a very similar exercise to help you identify and think about what you believe and expect in this crucial area. That exercise begins on page 300.

Review the Ground Rules presented at the end of chapter 5 in the Fighting for Your Marriage book and complete the exercise at the end of that chapter. This involves talking about each Ground Rule and if and how you will implement the ideas in your relationship (page 114).

Practice communication skills 3 or 4 times between now and the next session. The payoff for practicing can be great for your marriage.

• First practice: Practice the Speaker/Listener Technique for 15-20 minutes, 2 or 3 times.

• Second practice: Try the Problem Discussion/Problem Solution model on a specific problem. Plan about 40" to work through a specific problem in a "couple meeting." The steps are reviewed in chapter 4 of the book.