About Therapy

The full continuum of psychological care includes prevention on one end and treatment of more serious problems on the other. In the realm of marital health, PREP is a tool which can be used at any point on the spectrum, depending upon the training of the Leader. In the hands of a Marriage Educator, PREP can be used to help non-distressed couples prevent problems and perhaps reverse negative patterns in the earlier stages of development. In the hands of a trained therapist, PREP can be used as part of an intervention with more distressed couples.

When to Seek a Counselor

We're not intending the PREP workshops to be a substitute for therapy when that's what's really needed. There are many reasons why a couple or individual might wisely seek professional guidance- for example, in cases of physical danger, substance abuse, depression, or ongoing conflict that never gets resolved. These are signs that would indicate that an educational approach may not be enough, or even appropriate. The most common reason couples seek therapy is that they feel stuck; they want or hope for significant change to occur but aren't able to make changes happen. For example, you might read Fighting for Your Marriage, love the approach, and try some of the techniques, but still find that you're having trouble changing ingrained patterns.

Good therapists can help you in numerous ways. They can give you different perspectives on a problem. They can provide a structured, safe place to talk about difficult issues- much like the structure provided by some of the techniques we recommend. They can hold you more accountable for making certain changes happen. They can coach you in learning skills that you may be having trouble mastering on your own. And they can also help you explore the effect of different family backgrounds and expectations in your relationship.

If you decide that seeking a professional for counseling may help you, seek help sooner rather than later. Studies show that people live through seven years of marital distress before they start seeking help. That's a really long time to wait. It's easier to change patterns earlier than later.

Finding the Right Counselor/Therapist for You

How do you find a good couples' therapist out of all the psychologists, marital therapists, professional counselors, clergy members, psychiatrists, and social workers? The key is to find someone who is a good fit for you- based on your needs and goals, their training and background, their approach, and a sense of having a good working relationship with you. Many people seek referrals from some source they trust such as a friend, a physician, or a member of the clergy.

We prepared our website directory to give you a resource for helping in your search for the right person to help you. If you are currently familiar with the PREP approach and you like it, then you already have something in common with the folks listed on this site.

We do suggest that you be an active consumer when considering counseling: call them up and ask about their training, credentials, approach, experience, fees, and billing policies. You can and should ask a potential therapist directly about anything that's important to you such as a therapist's religious or cultural background, or experience with a very specific issue like the effects of having a seriously ill child.

If you begin to see a therapist, keep the above issues in mind. If, after a few sessions, you don't feel as though this person can help you, you may be right. The fit may just not be quite right for any number of reasons. Typically, you're going to spend a lot of money with a counselor, so it may be unwise to persist with someone if you have no confidence that the services are helping you with your needs and goals.